Monthly Archives: March 2010

to forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. when you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. you will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well.

i forgive you.

this entry is dedicated to my new friend, K. C. Harlow – Your heart’s in the right place dude. Keep the faith alive.

love this song from Zero 7 “Destiny”. brings me back to the days when…. esp the chorus. if you cant see video, click HERE.

“When I’m weak I draw strength from you
And when you’re lost I know how to change your mood
And when I’m down you breathe life over me
Even though we’re miles apart we are each other’s destiny…”

SOUL MATE: two little words, one big concept. a belief that someone, somewhere, is holding the key to your heart. all you have to do, is find them. so, where is this person? and if you loved someone and it didnt work out, does that mean they weren’t your soul mate? were they just a runner-up in this gameshow they call “happily ever after”? and as you move from age box to age box, and the contestants get fewer and fewer, are your chances of finding your soul mate less and less?

i was just Skyping with a new friend about the concept of soul mates a few days ago. he asked me:

“do you believe in one, many, or is it just compatability combined with proximity? proximity in the sense that we have many soul mates, and whoever we bump into first and connect with….that’s who we end up with.  until someone fucks it up.”

well. my answer to that was:

“i believe we have many soul mates. HOWEVER, though ive fallen in love many times over… ive only found one person whom i thought was the closest to what i would consider to be a soul mate. he’s still a close friend and there’s no more romantic love between us.”

and he replied:

“So how does that negate my statement?  Do soul mates not fuck up – they just stay friends, or what?”

and my reply to that was:

“soul mates do not fuck up, i believe. connection’s always there, with or without the dreams. there’s so much love and respect between us that we remain close to this very day. no one understands me more than he does. but there’s no more romance between us. he’s like a big bro to me now.”

and to that he said:

“So soul mates don’t fuck up.  How about (people who are) chronic fuck-ups?  Do they just not get soul mates?  Runaway China girl?  Does she get a soul mate?”

my reply to that was:

“well, i believe that one needs to make a conscious effort to wanna open up to people. hermits, social retards and CFUs (chronic fuckups), i think, would rather go without having a soulmate.”

then i thought about it again… is that true? does the right to a soulmate get revoked once a person’s considered to be a CFU? dont we all deserve an equal shot at receiving love and acceptance? surely there’s enough love in this world to even reach the degenerates and social pariahs.. no?

is the concept of a soul mate a reality? or myth… designed to make us pine and feel inadequate if we havnt found one for ourselves? sounds like a torture device to me if so. what do you think? have you found your soul mate………?

hamadryas baboon at the mandai zoo - world's most unfortunate lookin ass. unsexy to us humans, but considered to be the equivilent of beyonce's booty to the male babs.

baboons are fascinating to watch. in fact, they have provided a highlight during my trips to the mandai zoo. i could spend an hour at the hamadryas baboons enclosure, just watching and observing. i have often wondered about my fascination with their behaviour (they mostly fcuk and fight) and have come to the conclusion that it could be a deep seated reminder of the innocence that we, as a developing species, have lost.

there are many traits in baboon behaviour that are very similar to ours. it is in these similarities that we find amusement (or could it be embarrassment?) cuz they make us reflect on our own nature as humans. are the baboons human-like? or are we humans baboon-like? fascinating.. no?

the baboon trait that most resembles the human behaviour lies in their sexual habits. every single time we spot a pair of baboons getting banged up, we’d all squeal and jump up in excitement as we get treated to a show of animal porn at the “family-friendly” environment. there’d be some who’d blush as they struggle to explain to their lil tots abt animal mating.. and there’d be others who’d be merely focused on documenting the “moment” with their state-of-the-art digicams. i’d always chuckle to myself when that happens.

and thats aaaall they do......

and it went on for a good 30 secondsss.....

another trait of baboon behaviour that fascinates me is the grooming process. i read somewhere that grooming is an important part of a baboon’s social interaction and is often used to calm a volatile situation. although grooming involves the picking of parasites and scabs off each others bodies, the act provides a great deal of pleasure to the recipients.

female baboons nitpick their males when they're in love

er hat eine lange schlange! HAHA!

on many occasions, this pleasure lead to sexual stimulation and baboon males often get an erection during the grooming process….

HAHAHAHAHAAAAHAHAHHAAA!!!!!! *wheeezes* HAHAHAHAHHAH! *cough cough* hurhurhurhurhurrrr… *dries tears*

if only this “grooming” thing worked with human beings. wars could be prevented. and the human race would be one big happy fcukin family. LOL!

(if you cant view that, click HERE)

(if you cant view that, click HERE)

loads of prep had to be done before the awards and i cant thank enough my stylist Issac Ng from Toni+Guy for always pulling all stops (despite me only informing him at the very last minute) to make sure i get fab hair. thanks darling… LOVE YOU! he’s the only one i’d trust when i need to get my hair cut or styled.

my hair's fight against gravity would not have been possible without these...

my uber awesome stylist ISSAC NG from Toni+Guy @ the heeren. the man to go to if you want a perfect haircut.

and this is Zaidah, who helped curl my hair for me. what would i do without toni+guy???! thank you hunny!!! xoxo

that same day, american idol season 7 finalist Jason Castro popped by the shan+rozz show for an interview and acoustic set. he was such a pretty boy… looks a lil like a younger and prettier john travolta. oh scratch that. john travolta’s fugly. jason castro…. dreamy.

shan, jason and me

after our radio show, all jocks had to gather at the holding area for a quick brief. we didnt understand half of whats going on but had fun catching up with jocks from other stations. i love it when we all get to hang together. rare moments. these are photos with some of my favourite radio people…

(L-R): Desiree, Shan and our new DJ Sarah Tan... gathered at the pre-awards briefing

miss vandetta and i

lovvit when colours match. shan with gold 90.5FM's audrey ying

with two of my favourite jocks from YES93.3FM: Jiafa and Weibin xoxo

then we were all herded down to the TV theatre to standby for the awards. im still trying to get hold of the recording of the awards ceremony. some cringe-worthy speeches i tell you… can make your skin crawl. HAHA!

the Muttons were hosting. very disturbing imagery. (photo credit: super sally)

was justin scarier with the veil ON or veil OFF? i cant decide.... (photo credit: super sally)

Shan won an award for MOST CREATIVE TRAILER!!! he beat all other english stations to snag this!!! well done parrrtner! (photo credit: super sally)

happy as can be x (photo credit: super sally)

accepted the award from Phin Wong of Blog TV and Bobby Tonelli... my thank you "speech" consisted of 4 words. (photo credit: super sally)

midway thru the awards ceremony at the TV theatre, i got fidgety.... started by snapping a shot of Des and Sarah

Gold 90.5FM crew: Hossan, Maggie and Denise... triple threat!!! xxx

more of the Gold 90.5FM crew: uncle brian richmond and hamish brown

a mixture of Gold and Lush.... (L-R): Audrey Ying, Clarresa Monteiro and Chris Ho.

987FM's morning show duo, the best combo everrrrr: Mr Young and Miss Vandetta

the best radio partner a girl could everrr have in the whole wide world: SHAN WEE, seen here in his shamrock gettup cuz it was St Patrick's Day and the man's irish.

Class95's golden couple: Jean Danker (Most Popular Radio Personality Award) and Glenn Ong (Most Popular Radio Personality - Media's Choice)

award winning photo: justin ang, glenn ong, claressa monteiro, shan wee, jean danker, hossan leong, uncle brian richmond and me! (photo credit: super sally)

dream team: the perfect 987FM crew... CLOCKWISE FROM LEFT: sarah, young, justin, vanessa, shan, rozz, vernon, georgina, desiree.

my favouritest co-host in the whole wide world (events): bernard lim xoxo

after the awards, we all headed (well, the cool ones anyway) to STEREOLOUNGE at Pan Pacific Hotel. the owner, Michel Lu, graciously invited all jocks for an after party – drinks and food on the house. i was very touched and impressed by michel’s hospitality cuz i heard that the lounge was supposed to close at 10pm.. but all the staff stayed behind to serve us… UNTIL 2AM!!! omg. a BIG THANK YOU to the lovely, patient crew at Stereolounge! the drinks and food was FAB! xoxoxo

green leprechaun spotted at stereolounge

shan pictured here with our sexy boss georgie

des + jean

missy silver and i

lavinia and chris ho from LUSH 99.5FM

glenn and justin

mutton verrrrrrnon!!!

lovely lavie und moi..

michel lu (the bar owner) was rather sweet... kept the kitchen AND bar open for us. BIG THANKS for the superb hospitality xoxo

the original Perfect10 DJs: Bernard Lim and Florence Lian (now MD of radio)

with irene ang - singapore's ellen degeneres.. xxx

they say its good luck to bring home a leprechaun.. so we're tryin to get the most out of our strange sighting..

muttons and our sexy boss georgie

georgie and jean locked in girl kiss..

yanie awsom and meeee xoxo

michel: thanks for hosting our after-party! had a ball!!! xoxo

emo kiddo missy silverrrrrrr

my outfit. dress: christopher kane for topshop, boots: forever 21 (very cheap, bought on sale in tokyo). hair: toni+guy, makeup: my own.

and that wraps up my super long singapore radio awards “report”. 987FM totally OWNED the night. we bagged THREE out of four cross-station awards. Shan bagged the Most Creative Trailer award, i won the blog award and the Muttons beat Class95′s Morning Express to take home the BEST RADIO SHOW award for their hilarious Muttons To Midnight show, 8pm-12mn on 987FM! WOOOT! im so proud to be part of this brand new 987FM team. we’ve got a pretty exciting and wicked year ahead of us. watch out, we’re here to stay… AND RULE! cheers to that! *CLANK*

daaaaarrrrrliiiings….

THANKS TO YOUR VOTES, I WON!

and the sweetest thing was that it happened despite having a large number of you who were ineligible to vote… mainly the under 18′s and the non-singaporeans.

this is just a quick note to say “hey!”. im in the midst of prepping a video recorded speech to thank each and everyone of you (i’ll try my darndest) cuz i gave a 4-word thank you “speech” at the awards ceremony.. something like “thank you all, cheers!” HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!

i really cant be arsed with contrived PC thank yous…. you won an award. the rest didnt. thats bad enough. last thing you’d wanna do is to subject the entire hall full of already envious people with your ego-massaging speech riiiight???! LOL! i kid.

gimme a teeny bit of time to prep a proper thank you via this blog. also need time to upload photos. should be up by tonight if i work reaaaaaallly haaaard.

xoxo

gooood morningggg!!

its D-Day today. gonna rush off to Universal Studios in a bit to try the rides.. my first time going on rides in any theme park. nervoussssss. will TRY to take some photosssssss…..

anyway.

Singapore Radio Awards is on TONIGHT at 730PM (GMT + 8.00). regardless of wherever you may be, you can watch it LIVE by clicking HERE

some highlights: my radio partner Shan Wee might be in a leprechaun costume cuz its St Patricks Day today – irish thing. should be quite a sight. the Muttons (night show DJs on 987FM), who are hosts for the awards, have also said that they will be having FOUR costume changes.. one of which is “worse than drag”. omg.

and my outfit: slutty? or cool?

tune in and lemme know what you think xoxo

the singapore radio awards is just ONE DAY AWAY.

my super stylist Martin was supposed to get me dressed but he’s also got to dress Fann Wong, Christopher Lee, Pat Mok etc for Star Awards. and with star awards just around the corner (cutting too close) to Radio Awards, all the big brands have frozen loan for their couture pieces. oh well.

then i realised that i do have one Christopher Kane dress that i havnt worn yet! bought it last year and thought it might be swell for the radio awards. whooooppeeeeee! ive blogged about it before but here it is again:

gonna rock up in this piece with black leggings and killer leather boots. my fate’s in the hands of my super hair stylist Issac from Toni+Guy. it will be such a rush on D-Day tomorrow.

the 987 crew’s invited to take a free tour and hop on rides at Universal Studios TOMORROW MORNING!!! AAAAAAAARGH! 10am. can it be anymore of a bad bad timing??? anyway i guess i’d just try on a coupla rides and then rush off to my hair appointment at noon at Heeren. then rush into studio for radio show and then hope for the best at the Awards proper.

i love the rush of dressing up. the heart palpitations and cold sweat wickedly blended with the rush of adrenaline and the thrill of getting it right… its akin to the rush of falling in love. tres thrilling.

i’ll upload photos during the calm after the storm. wish me luck. xoxo

i would be turning 31 come june 20th. its freaky… how time flies. i still feel young-ish… until i look in the mirror. i see a woman who’s lived, staring right back at me.

im at a point in my life where ive broken many hearts (not proud of it) and gotten my heart broken one time too many.

the process of healing is never a smooth one. its like going through a seemingly dark and never-ending tunnel; you’re left wondering if you’d ever get to see the light at the end of it. or worse… IS there even an end to this mad dark journey?

the answer has always been “YES”.

im mad happy now that its funny to look back and see that just barely a coupla months ago i was a complete wreck. i couldnt believe how crestfallen and beaten i had been. what WAS i thinking???!

and by the grace of a miracle, my heart is brand new again… like an eternal optimist who ALWAYS believes in love.