Choose friends wisely, the portrait they paint
Is who you are and who you ain’t.
Friendship is life’s great support
When friends are of the right sort.
For all your dreams do they make room,
Or bring you down with doom and gloom?
You will know a friendship is true
When it brings out the best in you.
its true. you can tell a person by the company he/she keeps. our friendships not only tell alot abt who we are, they MAKE US who we are. the friendship poem above says it all: you will know a friendship is solid and true when it brings out the best in you.
i find that as i get older, my sense for sniffing out bullshit get sharper. my accurate observations on the people i meet are usually just brushed off and classified as cynicism by onlookers; but im hardly ever wrong. over the years ive compiled a little black book of sorts – i am particulary wary of overly optimistic people who seem to have no problems or care. you know, the sort who’d have a ridiculous permanant smile plastered across their faces like a crazy clown? people naturally gravitate towards their seemingly sunny disposition but i’d know better cuz im convinced of this theory: the more they laugh and smile, the more fcuked up they’d tend to turn out behind close doors.
to even consider building a friendship with someone, i must FIRST SEE THEIR FLAWS. and as quickly as possible too. for its the flaws that i must be able to accept, not the stupid sunny disposition. so quit putting on the “im-so-nice-i-love-everyone” act cuz you know you cant keep it up. (okay to be fair, in my life, i met like ONE person who’s genuinely nice and happy like ALL THE TIME, straight from the heart. i dated him for two years and then broke up with him cuz he was just toooo eager to please everyone… guess there’s just something abt “yes-men” that irks me as well.) i swear im prob cursed to remain single for the rest of my life for being a bitch and breakin up with mr nice guy… 
movin on.
as i age, i also find that i lack the energy and stamina to spread myself too thin by trying to be friends with too many people at one go because when i decide to be someone’s friend, i’d give 100% – loyalty, support and love. and i’d be lying if i said im not expecting just about the same returns. and PUHLEASE do not gimme bullshit abt “unconditional love”; that sorta love only exists between a mother and her child. everything else COMES WITH conditions. i have let go of friends who cant keep up. friendship is a two way street. and im sorry to break it to you but it requires ALOT OF EFFORT. its NOT the sort of thing you brush aside when you have a boyfriend/girlfriend and then crawl back to when you experience a breakup. although friends SHOULD be there for you no matter what, you shouldnt be takin that privilege for granted. i cannot cannot stand people who are attached at the hip to their partners/spouses. HELLO. get your individuality back.
i hate cliques: big groups of friends who like to hang together and do every damn thing together. to each his own but i hate cliques cuz its a breeding ground for kampong politics. people tend to get over-sensitive over the littlest things. tears and hugs result not long after and then the vicious cycle repeats itself all over again. urgh. spare me the agony.
im also extremely wary of girls who only have guys as close friends (fag hags not included). girls who dont have close girlfriends HAVE ISSUES abt their confidence. they are usually the painfully beautiful sort who need to be constantly told that they are gorgeous, who are socially inept to interact with their own gender cuz they’d always have this need to be the centre of attention and the only way to get that is to hang around guys: one CB amongst a group of KKJs.
and most of all, i have NO TIME for toxic friends.
THE SUICIDALS
okay i have NO SYMPATHY for anyone who attempts suicide. or worse, SEEKS ATTENTION BEFORE ATTEMPTING SUICIDE: “if you leave me, im gonna jump”.
well, jump then. call me and i’ll help push you off the ledge. thats what friends are for right? but if you wanna go the DIY route and thinkin of slashing your wrists instead, make sure you cut yourself vertically from wrists down towards your elbow, and apply LOADS of pressure too. dont bother with the little slices across the wrists cuz i really really wanna see you die.
there were many moments where i felt like dying. heartbreak is unbearable. especially when you feel that your soulmate has given up on you… it can be crushing. i know. cuz i been through that. but seriously, after the moping, THINK: was your heart hurting more? or was it your EGO? life is such a gift. to live is such a privilege. time on earth is so precious and doesnt last forever. there’s so many cities to explore, nooks and crannies to discover, people to meet and languages to learn… if you wanna give all that up cuz of a minor setback as a heartbreak, then please, do us all a favour and just die. i cant be friends with suicidals cuz i cant relate to them. ever.
THE OVERLY NEGATIVES
aka the Emos. definition of an EMO person: emos hate themselves and are constantly ranting on abt how “nobody understands”.
being emo is a 24-7 thing. i cannot cannot stand constantly negative people. there is a time limit to mope. but you get up and move on with your life. okay i know it takes all sorts to fill this world we live in but the point im getting at with this entry is identifying people i CANT have as friends cuz i cant relate to them. im sure emo people will group up and hang out together and strive to make each other sadder… suppose they’re masochistic that way… actually come to think of it, that’d be quite a funny sight. i can almost imagine the sorta conversations they might have between them..
Emo 1: omg my gf just left me and i blame myself only.. im such an ass *cries*
Emo 2: that sux man.. dude come over to my house and we can cut ourselves together
Emo 1: okay *cries*
Emo 2: omg dashboard confessional has a new cd, i preordered it already
Emo 1: dude they’re my favorite band to self-mutilate to
Emo 2: yeah we’re such tortured souls, nobody understands how hard life is for us
urgh. *rolls eyes* get a grip and grow some confidence man. serrriously.
THE OVERLY COMPETITIVES
aka the ones who are always trying to be better than you. the ones who put you tell you in your face how talented you are but behind your back, they’d plot to overthrow your success and have it for themselves. the overly competitives will describe themselves to be “highly driven individuals”.
look, its okay to have the drive to succeed. no, scratch that. its SEXY when a person has drive. but not when its used against a friend. i had a friend once, very personable. super vain but very down-to-earth. she was new face in the scene back then but was already appearing on covers of magazines and hosting tv shows here and there. she knew what she wanted. and she was very hungry for success but i think she’s just addicted to fame though she’d never admit it. she obviously wants different things from me cuz im superbly contented with just being a radio presenter. but id always feel her constantly competing against me. jobs i get to host, she wonders why she wasnt asked instead. i found out after that we auditioned for the same tv gig but i got it in the end and someone who was close to her back then said she was bitter abt it. omg. we’re talking abt a gorgeous girl here.. superbly stunning. but oh so insecure. thus the competitive streak. people like that, i’d ditch. i hate being made to feel like im a salmon fighting an upstream battle.
THE ME-MYSELF-AND-I’s
in the recent months, i got reacquainted with a friend from the past. we lost touch for like what, 15 years!? we used to hang out everyday doing jack all. so naturally a reunion after such a long time was a sweet one. BUT i also realised, after a few meetings, that he just LOVES talkin about himself (what sort of person goes on talkin abt themselves all the time?! insecure? thick-skinned? what?!) AND always trying to be ONE-UP. i’d say something about meeting a band, he’d try to find a way to better it by saying “oh i was also invited by a friend’s friend’s friend to go backstage to hang but i decided not to”.
URGH. thats just ONE small example. just multiply that lil example with others that are similar til you get a coupla hours worth and you’d get the gist of the sort of conversations we have. so anyway after a few meet ups, it got so tiresome that i cut all contact with him.
THE DRAMATICS
i cannot stand drama in a friendship. friends who get emo and get bitchy over lil things like “how come you spend more time with her than with us?” or throw a hissy fit or send a snarly sms “you dont call me anymore, you hurt me.” OMG. friendships are supposed to be safe havens.. sanctuaries where we offload drama stories to each other abt people we DONT care about. true friends will:
- support you even if it hurts their own interest
- understand your needs and will be with you without scrutiny or criticism
- come forward to help without any demands
example: someone in your inner circle is going thru shit. as a friend, you DO NOT judge. you DO NOT BERATE her for not being there for you on your frickin birthdays; are you gonna die that year? no right? its just a frickin birthday. get a grip.
THE PREACHIES
people who engage in monk/god speak, should be pushed off cliffs.
what gives you the right to perch on a pedestal to tell people how to lead their lives? what makes you a better person? i deleted a friend who couldnt quit spewing quotes from the dalai lama. it was exhausting trying to confide in her abt my problems cuz she’s always throw something pseudo zen back at me “be master of mind rather than mastered by mind” what alien material was she made of? on her route to attaining nirvana??!! cant she EVER speak like a normal human? shes so zoned out (read: trying to curb angst and negative energies) that i swear she was starting to look like a cardboard – no personality.
preachy people also LOVE dishing out unsolicited advice. people who do that are termed SOCIAL PARIAHS in my book of life. if i didnt ask for an opinion, shut your trap. dont go poking noses into other people’s business. sometimes when i see a heavily pregnant mother SMOKING, i’d have to resist my strong urge to tell her that whatever she’s doing is selfish and harmful to the baby she’s carrying. it was real tough to shuddup abt it but its really her business and i SHOULDNT INTERFERE. if she wants to give birth to a deformed kid then so be it. she LIVES with it. not me. (i will however step in if i see someone badgering a kid to what seems like near death.)
sigh.
i recently did some facebook weeding. i had just a little over 500 friends on my personal facebook account and that was 500 too many. i cant be friends with all of them right? im not gonna keep a friend on my list just so they can spy on me without actually bothering to upkeep a friendship. so after some effort, i deleted about 80 “friends” off the list. not out of malice or spite. i really did wanna keep my list as tight as i could: people i admire, people i love, fun people, creative people and of course, the gorgeous ones who are still there cuz they’re gorgeous. LOL.
i was a little apprehensive abt axing a coupla people at first but decided that i will not be made a victim on my own facebook account. it is JUST facebook afterall. and i DO have a right when it comes down to the people i allow to share my personal photos and videos with.
of the 80 people ive axed, ONLY ONE made a big deal out of it by bitching abt me on her facebook. and this person’s someone i got to know only in the recent months cuz she was dating the drummer of the band my ex boyfriend sings in. they broke up recently and she was hurt. and i was there for her like i would be for ANYONE ELSE who was hurt from failed relationships cuz i know the pain, and its not nice. (yes, pain CAN be nice. like pain from tattoos.) i think given our not-so-close friendship, i gave her more time of day than anything… chatted with her on msn til nearly sunrise on a few occasions and even lent her money when she was broke. (to be fair, she didnt ask for it.)
so why delete her if i invested so much into the friendship? well first and foremost, i’d like to clarify that deleting someone off facebook DOESNT MEAN that im deleting them off as friends. when i delete someone off facebook, im actually MINIMIZING their access into my personal life. and by virtue of facebook being a two-way social media, im also minimizing my access into their not-so-personal facebook status “thoughts” – some can get too emo for me after a bit. reading her notes and updates depress me. which brings me back to the point “true friendships should bring out the best in you”. so why keep a negative person around? plus she was so self-absorbed with her lil problems that she never was really a friend to me anyway. so i’ll be kind and throw her a lil discount and say that where our friendship was concerned, we’re quits/even.
there is no polite way to axe someone off, be it facebook or msn or your life. it is just as simple as a click of a button and VOOSH, the person’s gone. i dont see the need to pre-empt nor explain my reasons for axing someone cuz one man’s meat is another man’s poison; i might not be able to stand certain traits of a person but that does not make that person a bad person. that said, a person i cant stand, may be loved by other people for reasons that may be beyond my comprehension but so be it.
it sure as hell feels horrible to be axed off someone’s list. i should know, ive gotten axed off once before. it stung. but seriously do not spend too much time mulling over it cuz i can tell you one thing: it MAY SEEM PERSONAL, but it really aint. i dont hate you. cuz if i did, i’d be slinging mud and dedicating every single living hour of mine to the plotting of your destruction; so no, hate is not in the equation. simply put, we just didnt fit. so be it. move on and focus on the ones that actually love you for who you are.
RYAN LEE
you must have been in that lying down/ sitting position for a long time to be able to take those pics.
HAHAHAHHAH! its my fav web surfing position
haha Rozz, u are so funny but straight to the point – i loike
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Hi Rozz, recently just started reading your blog and I really appreciate your writings. I’ve been going through some friendship shit lately and reading this has made this a lot clearer for me. Thank you:)
wow, this is such a looooooong post, but yet a meaningful one.
I guess, to sum it up, it’s a blessing to have you as a friend in a personal capacity, and vice versa, to be considered as one to you
It is quite hard to find a real friend nowadays, sadly.
Or maybe it is just me.
Yo..rozz.. it’s very true..friendship is two way..recently I also had problem in friendship..like ur post xo xo .btw, i ady voted No.13 .^.^
Oh my god I absolutely hate preachies… I remember when I was dating my kung fu instructor, there was this younger student who kept calling him to discuss about phylosophy (not my cup of tea, honestly)… it was quite annoying. One time, I posted a link to an article about a terrible case of bullying in the UK and she spammed my Facebook inbox, phycho analysing me. In her head, posting a link to a newspaper article = I was bullied and severly abused as a child and she was a saviour for “figuring” that out. o.O Honestly… no one ever laid a finger on me ! That girl knew nothing about me… and the fact that she was like 13, pissed me even more!
I really really really hate that kind of people… they usually make a moral issue out of nothing and they always speak to you with this attitude, as if they were superior human beings… ugh!
(wow… this comment turned out to almost be a blog entry! haha)
anyway, keep rocking Rozz =D
straight to the point! your gift of words pin point these friendship problems that seem to bug most sane people. haha thanks for the read.
love this article rozz! thanks for all that effort in writing it. No matter how straight-talking it is, it’s still sensible. Toxic friends, they’re everywhere. always so drama and emo and wanting to bring you down. the thing is, when do we let go of them huh
It’s always really refreshing reading yr blog, I’be been following yr career since yr Power98 days.
Before finding yr blog, I’ve always regarded u as an “untouchable”, not in a bad sense, rather b’cos yr an artiste, for lack of a better word a celebrity.
Yr blog entries really relates to me. You’ve become almost like an elder sibling I always wished I had. I admire yr strength & brutal honesty. U tell it like it is, yet yr not a cynic.
I’ve learnt a lot from this entry, thanks for sharing yr thoughts.
P/S I’m morbidly jealous that yr such a foodie (like me) yet gorgeously skinny~! ;P
love this post…i’ve lost some frens along the way and sometimes when i look back, i feel guilty and sad…but then again, there are really toxic frens everywhere….sigh…
i also find it’s really hard to find true frens as we grow older…. *shrugs*
okay i have NO SYMPATHY for anyone who attempts suicide. or worse, SEEKS ATTENTION BEFORE ATTEMPTING SUICIDE: “if you leave me, im gonna jump”.
well, jump then. call me and i’ll help push you off the ledge. thats what friends are for right? but if you wanna go the DIY route and thinkin of slashing your wrists instead, make sure you cut yourself vertically from wrists down towards your elbow, and apply LOADS of pressure too. dont bother with the little slices across the wrists cuz i really really wanna see you die.
I so agree on this! There’s this weirdo in class, who apparently cuts her wrist, take picture of it, get sympathy and say she’s okay. ATTENTION SEEKING MUCH? And she thinks she’s so cool, she writes on her hand emo. Then RIGHT below it, she wrote “i’m so happy i could die”. So I was thinking, emo or happy? That girl seeks attention waaaaaaaay too much. She just like everyone paying attention to her. And when she’s sad, she cuts herself. When she isn’t, she cuts herself too. And her family has NO problems at all. What a weirdo.
eeeek! DELETE!!!!
And after this post, I’d like to say that your friends are all lucky to have you.
I love the part about friendship requiring lots of effort and is a two-way street. I fell out with a very good friend I’d known for 9 years because she’s never available to hang out and would always put other matters as priority even if we’d not met for a long time and it’s a rare occasion whereby both of us didn’t have to work till late. Her bf is forever on the top of her list and will be the main subject of our conversations even when we DID meet up. After repeated attempts to meet up with her. I finally gave up on her and chose to do other stuff instead of meeting her on those rare occasions whereby she asked to meet up. This gal had the audacity to act like a victim by sms-ing me about me being like a stranger to her but not before revealing that during this time she’s more free already. It’s like WTF? I’m not some mat for u to fall back on when u finally decide u are FREE. Anyway, one must learn to let go.
man. that sucks! its over now. hail forth soldier, make no time at all for losers x
Hi rozz,your blogs cool..
I really think it’s quite a feat/gift how when you blog, it really SOUNDS like you. ie. I can totally hear you saying all that.
I’ve been doing some housekeeping on FB as well. Figure if someone isn’t interested in being a part of my real life, then why let them be privy to my FB life just so they can kaypoh and be judgmental about what I’m doing.
Hey Rozz,
I really enjoy reading your blog and listening to you on radio. I couldn’t help but agree with you on the Facebook thing. (I truly believe some pple really add you because they just want to kepo into your personal life!)
Well, I had someone demanding an explanation from me as to WHY I did not accept their friend request – she was just an ex-schmate who never once talked to me in school! So I was relieved reading this entry of yours. Thanks for sharing.
Cheers & love ya!
Sy.
Totally share your opinion on this topic and i bet there are so many people who can relate to what you wrote about friendship as well.
May i post a link to your post on my blog? Cause i would love some of my friends who read my blog to come read what you wrote here
sure
link me up baby 
wow…inneresting read
i can kinda relate to the ‘competitive’ friend thing. I have a friend like that and I used to be able to tolerate her competitiveness but after a while, it just gets more sickening and it gives me no choice but to ignore her. sigh…what other ways are there to handle such people?
btw, thanks so much for sharing. enjoyed reading it
for some strange reason, your gleaming knife caught my fascination. or is that a piece of glass..?
but amen sista to this entry.
its actually a mirror in the shape of a knife. got it at a novelty gift shop in hongkong
I don’t understand why people get so emotional over Facebook too. >.>;; They just like to make the situation worse and blow the whole thing up. :l Irritating people.
veri truthful post.. yes frens n not easily found especially gd ones.. n i have to agree that as u get older ur sense for bullshit get sharper n ur tolerance for it get lower… hahah a veri personal n in sightful post.. hahah
*skinny ppl whom eats alot n not grow fat unite!!*
love this entry. forces me to be honest about myself. so often in my life, i’ve fallen prey.. or fallen under one of these categories.
Great post, I totally agree that we should get rid of friends that are toxic to us. You shouldn’t have to be annoyed or judged by those who are close to you.
That said, I hate me some suicidals as much as the rest of us do – completely agree that suicide is never an answer, and it’s often just an ego trip. But I do think that there are a few people who are caught in genuinely harmful situations (incest, trauma, etc.) and seek suicide because they really can’t find any other way out. Of course I believe that they’re being short-sighted and should be guided to find other avenues, but it’s different from the egotistical, cocky “omg my life is over cause i lost my girlfriend” attention-whoring suicidals that unfortunately flood the market. It’s still a weakness, but sometimes people with real problems just need some help, and shouldn’t be written off right away – and I think maybe that should be recognized.
But feel free to disagree, I’m not telling you what to do with your own friendships
still love the blog and really admire what you have to say!
hey yvonne!
thanks for sharing. mm.. the suicide option, regardless of plight, shows weakness of the mind/character. it is also a very self centered decision. and i cant identify with those traits. ive read stories and seen documentaries abt girls being raped and beaten to near death but they’d take that pain, rise up against it and made good of themselves… some start an organization helping others who might be going thru the same plight. that is totally admirable. taking life’s lemons and turning it into lemonade. x
i’ll agree with you on that front, there are so many beautiful stories of strong people who fight through hardship that i hope anyone who thinks of suicide for even a second can look to them for the strength to shed self-pity and continue existing
do you know what kind of mindset you would need to kill yourself?it is never a selfish thing, people kill themselves because they think the world would be a better place without them, that their family and friends would be better off without them. you would have to hate yourself THAT MUCH to think so. that is why depression is a mental illness. people who fight through the hardship do so because they have HOPE.even a small,tiny irrational piece of hope that things just might get better. the genuinely depressed and suicidal have none. it seems selfish to those around them, because they know that they will be hurt if their friend kills him/herself. but the suicidal one cannot see it. he/she has so little self worth he/she actually thinks his/her existence is a waste and a burden. it is a MENTAL ILLNESS.
suicide isn’t always a snap decision made due to a sudden traumatic event such as the examples of rape and incest. please, life isn’t always a channel 8 drama. those who do kill themselves don’t just kill themselves once they start feeling blue. they think about it for a very very long time before doing so. because they feel they can never ever be happy or bring joy to the lives others again. so why live?they think so because they have a mental illness and are incapble of thinking any other way.
i understand what you mean by people who talk about suicide for attention. but please do not place the mentally ill in the same category as attention whores. They are not genuinely suicidal. “regardless of plight”? what if this plight is a MENTAL ILLNESS?
i would recommend that you read a couple of books to see what it is like inside the head of a mentally ill person. namely, “the bell jar” by sylvia plath which is semiautobiographical,and plath did indeed kill herself after over a decade of suffering from depression. and “the man who mistook his wife for a hat” to see how easily our mids can change and fool us, and distort reality.
i agree with what you say. im just saying i cant relate to suicidals. and because i cant relate, i keep away. please respect that. im not a saint. i dont have enough love for everyone in this world. that and the believe in survival of the fittest. cheers.
There is an irony to this story. I mean being a media personality (well im only guessing coz im not in singapore and dont get to hear you on the radio) and also a great blogger, you’re putting yourself out there for everyone. You’re dealing with a whole new group of “friends” normal everyday people dont have to deal with. But I guess its probably even more critical for you to make distinct who is your friend and who is a fan. Point is I guess, how far could you afford to push that barrier. Intriguing issue anyway.
love your post! uber meaningful…
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I never used to think much of buddies who miraculously seem to become non-existant overnight with their new found love BUT this is the moment of my life where I have to put my bloody foot into my big fat mouth. I have been through relationships and even 1 failed marriage . Hence friends to me are stay-ers while man can take 2nd place in my life.. that was until I met my better half.. my fiancee now..
I am not the “sticky gf material” kinda women who doesn’t have a life.. in fact I love my individuality a hell lot! Meeting friends for drinks, taking my motorbike for trips and trails in woods..
Until I met my now-better-half. Don’t get me wrong, I have not given up on my passion in life.. The difference now is that I want to share everything I love doing with him. Friends at my age have mostly settled down with their own family and kids. All we can find time for in the midst of family, working, kids, hubby, housework is that occasional dinner. It’s definitely not like a decade ago where we can meet everyday after work for mindless rubbish talk sessions.
I now have the best of both worlds.. I have found a buddy, soul-mate, activity partner, a step-daddy for my son and possibly a future dad to our own lil peanuts.. Now tell me.. how not to be attached to the hips with a dream, breathing human! :s
Anyway I love your reading your post and and how your digital personality refines your onscreen persona. Great job!
good post Rozz! it has waken me up a lil. finally i realized how much ive neglected my close ones. thks for d reminder
brgds.
very sharp insights abt people and friendships, i love this entry! esp the part abt girls who hang around only guys. what do you think about guys who have mostly only female friends?
guys who only have female friends? well i used to date a guy like that…. nothing wrong with his female friends, they were cool. it was him that was the problem. he just couldnt get along with guys! guys who hang out with girls only tend to be very SNAG-like. and quite wimpy and love being in centre of attention. but most def less toxic than their female version.
it relates so much to what I’m feeling about friendship. Your post just make my thoughts simpler. I love the friends who love me, and had well… stop dwelling on those who hack. I do have a close boypal but I guess nothing beats having girlpal(s).
Your journal is good to keep up with.
Thanks babe!
ROZZ YOU ARE AWESOME, YOU JUST SPOKE MY MIND
anyway when’s your birthday!
HAHA I like how you saved your pics
SO FUNNY. AAARGH FACE. Hahahah okay 
Linked ya btw 
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omg rozz. reading this post makes me feel kinda emo. i’m doing some housekeeping to me facebook as well.
i used to have this “good” friend in secondary school. for once, her birthday was on a sunday and sunday was my family day so i couldn’t go out with her and she’s mad angry at me for about 2 weeks or so? i even thought of saving this friendship and texted her sorry. but she simply replied no point saying sorry, you were not there to celebrate my birthday.
well, till right now, i’m still kinda trying to save this friendship till i read this post. she’s classified under dramatic i suppose. haha.
thanks rozz! this post really wakes me up!
ps. sorry for taking up too much space here! i’m addicted to this post! it really makes me wonder who my true friends are =)
yeah man. its just a birthday. how self centred can one get?! serrrriously. and gave you shit for 2 weeks? ditch her/him.
Awesome. you hit bulleye’s. “friendship is a two-way street”, indeed.
I got so tired of keeping up and always taking the initiative among those “friends”, and i finally decided that was IT. clearly they don’t appreciate me in the first place, and whatsmore, am i worse than even an option to them? puzzles and stings.
right now, still nursing from those loss of ‘friendship’, and i get cynical of making new friends too, cause i believe it’s so hard to find a true geniune friend who stays, and not just come and go in your life. it sucks. and it hurts.
read this from somewhere,
“people dont appreciate you when you are good to them, but only ask why you are no longer the same when you no longer care for them.”
true?
totally.
…..i’m still feeling the pain. but thanks for the awesome post. you are an inspiration to all your readers out there.
SO EFFING TRUE.
you forgot copycats..
This entry is so damn true and awesome.
Hey Rozz! loving the honesty in this blog post, I can personally relate on all levels..I’ve also deleted friends off facebook from attention-seeking or freakishly angry status updates. Keep it up!
I really like what you said about looking for and accepting the flaws in people first. I often look for the opposite:try to see the good and work from there. Your way makes it much tougher for you to like people, but from what i gather it doesnt stem from an impatience or self-centredness but more from a desire for genuine and sincere engagement- which you are right to say is not something that really extends beyond a handful of people.
I felt abit disturbed by your rant against emos, preachers and other annoyances tho…I understand its a rant and you were trying to convey (maybe with some exaggeration)..but emos,preachies and what not are stereotypes, not people. People are people. And in every person there will always be a great variety of selfs to manifest: the emo, the suicidal, etc etc…of course some of these manifest more consistently (and are more personally distasteful) then others, but my basic point is that this emo,preacher,suicide basket case could be our sister, dad or niece. Or they could one day be our best friend, accquaintence or stranger.
i understand and agree with the need to let or make people stand on their own feet and take charge of themselves but to say that anyone who does not embrace this banner of independence is catergorically some sort of blight to be avoided or chastised is much too harsh imo. Unortunately, although many would wish it, not everyone is able to do what you’ve done and grab life by the lapels. While this is the basis of your own self-definition, perhaps extending it to others may lead to a world-view of unhealthy disdain?
Much respect,
Andrew
i agree. but the purpose of my post was to define what i cant accept. im not in anyway forcing anyone to accept my views. its just that IF you were a basket case or preacher, there’s no way id wanna be associated with you, cuz i cant relate and therefore dont see a point in trying. there are other battles in life to fight and i choose not to fight yours. (hypothetically speaking of course, i dont really mean YOU. LOL) i only wanna be around people that bring out the best in me. and the type of people* i ranted on about, only serve to bring me down.
*the reason why i consider them as “people” instead of “stereotypes” is cuz these people CHOOSE to be led by their weaknesses, so much that it consumes them and they BECOME that.
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CHUUUUUUCHHHHHHHH!
I love this post Rozz. Really straightforward, no sugar coating from you. I used to have a friend who was a toxic mix of almost all the stereotypes you wrote about!
She was: an attention whore and an anorexic in denial. She would purposely hang around me, making me seem like a side-kick, she being so skinny and so-called ‘hot’, while I was the tall plus sized girl, making her appear that much slimmer. She’d suggest lunch or getting snacks or drinks, but she’d never pay a single cent!
She also basically demanded and expected so much of me, yet, she also always thought the worst of me at the drop of a pin. She also hated me for missing her bday when it was during fasting month and I had *just* started my internship in a hotel kitchen. I texted her my well wishes and she gave me a ‘you dun care about me do u since u dun even wan to meet me on my bday. i did so much for u on your bday but for me cannot bother.’ ALWAYS demanding or expecting something in return. I loathe people like that.
UGH. psycho bitch, SCRAPPED AND BINNED. phew.
I could totally relate to this post! Just a few years ago, I had this friend. You could say she was both a preacher and a dramatic. She used to call me and talk to me for hours about Jesus and God (I’m a free thinker) and try and get me to convert. It was really annoying but I bore with it for the sake of our friendship. I didn’t want to hang up on her because I was afraid of hurting her feelings. However, as the months wore on, It was tiring to have to listen to her either preach or talk about her problems. She used to call me when she was feeling sad which is okay but her problems were becoming a burden to me as I had to listen to her whine and talk about it. Worse still, she expected me to comfort her and be there for her every second of the day. She would follow me home after school even though I gently hinted to her that I don’t have time to entertain her. She would then spend the whole afternoon in my room talking about herself. So I guess she is a ‘Me, Myself and I’ friend too. Eventually my patience wore thin and I just stopped talking to her. I still feel guilty about it to this day as I don’t think she had bad intentions. She was just an annoying person to be with.
OMG I experienced all the examples you mentioned. I just feel like phew, someone finally feels the same way as me. I think one quality that makes us similar is that we hate friends/ppl that are emo and love to wallow in self pity. like seriously, grow out of it. How beneficial is it, sobbing abt every small matter?? I almost feel spot on all sorts of people you mentioned. especially THE ME-MYSELF-AND-I’s . Like I have a friend who is ALWAYS and SUPER egoistic. He would just brag about himself NONSTOP. no matter what u do, nth can stop him. irregardless of hw pissed off or bored i look, i don’t knw, nth in his right mind would tell in to stops , bcos god dammit i don’t feel like listening to his bull. epic disgusting. this sorta ppl, you dont knw what to do with. they may be one who can be a good friend to you bt sometimes they just brag toooo much
what you said TOTALLY made sense! and just fyi, i’ve got many me-myself-and-i ex-friends. one of them has a imma-unique-emo-bella-swan-from-twilight-probably-more-unique persona… the agony! and they call ME bitchy…